He’s eating it with a spoon so no one can say he eats bananas for the shape

  • Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.caEnglish
    131·
    7 days ago

    I am always fascinated how the man who is strong enough in his convictions to do whatever the hell he wants is considered the “weak” one whereas the “macho” shit is afraid of his own shadow and that some other man may not like what he’s doing.

    • Bamboodpanda@lemmy.worldEnglish
      45·
      7 days ago

      In the 90s, especially in high school environments, homophobia wasn’t just common, it was socially reinforced. Gay was used as an insult, casually and constantly. People rarely questioned it. Teachers didn’t intervene unless things turned violent, and even then, the issue addressed was the aggression, never the prejudice. It was an era when appearing different, even slightly, could make you a target. Most people avoided standing out if they could help it.

      During that time my grandma gave me a pink terrycloth nightgown. On her it was a nightgown, but on me it fit more like a long shirt. I thought it was amusing and comfortable, so I wore it regularly without giving it much weight.

      Each time someone hurled gay slurs at me, I replied, “I’m secure enough not to care what other people think. Can you say the same?” They usually followed up with more immature remarks, which I’d call out too. The problem wasn’t what I wore, it was that I wasn’t afraid to wear it.

    • OldChicoAle@lemmy.worldEnglish
      71·
      7 days ago

      I feel like it’s the “loudest voice in the room” effect. There’s so many insecure men that security is rarely visible and thus ostracized as otherly.

    • FishFace@piefed.socialEnglish
      22·
      7 days ago

      Because it’s specific types of strength that are part of traditional masculinity, not any and all types.

      These things are mostly arbitrary, right? There doesn’t have to be some simple, overarching principle. Masculinity can be any combination of things, no matter how difficult it is to summarise them.

      I also think though that there’s a real desire amongst progressives to find “contradictions” to “prove” that is bullshit. So they imagine that this guy who said that something is not manly is “afraid of his own shadow” when they have no reason to believe that. He’s probably incredibly confident in his masculinity but he also believes that masculinity is something worth “enforcing”.

      We haven’t seen him worry that he might not meet the standard, only be part of enforcing it. It’s pretty silly to think that the latter implies the former

  • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.worldEnglish
    371·
    6 days ago

    What does this “surrender your man card” even mean? I must transition to be a woman? So much for protecting people from being “force-transed” for showing even the slightest form of gender-nonconformity!

    • entwine@programming.devEnglish
      37·
      7 days ago

      It means you’re not a man, you pussy!

      …it also implies that “being a man” is not determined by your birth, but rather by your decisions and lifestyle, and that everyone is in fact gender fluid and able to change their gender at any time.

      So basically, toxic masculinity is actually woke as fuck

    • BigDiction@lemmy.worldEnglish
      10·
      7 days ago

      You forfeit your Alpha Male Club membership and any dues paid immediately.

      You are disqualified from ever becoming a Navy SEAL.

      If your favorite sports team wins a championship it will have nothing to do with you being a fan.

      If you have any male cats they are promoted to King (s) of the house.

      It’s brutal.

      • Nasan@sopuli.xyzEnglish
        5·
        7 days ago

        That’s a different club, the man club really only gets you discounts at certain motel chains, sorta like AAA. You automatically decline roadside assistance though, because man.

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.netEnglish
      4·
      6 days ago

      It tends to mean something akin to “you don’t even need to transition to be a woman, because your masculinity is already so corrupted that you effectively already are one”.

      This logic isn’t in contradiction with their transphobia, but in fact synergises with it. Trans men are seen as having no right to intrude upon the privileged position of masculinity, and trans women are seen as even more horrifying due to the fact that they willingly eschew their masculinity — something that’s incomprehensible to someone whose personal identity is 90% whatever hegemonic masculinity tells them to be.

      A friend remarked to me once that one of the reasons she found transition liberating was because she had been bullied all her life for being too effeminate, so coming out as trans felt like shouting “you can’t fire me, I quit!”

  • OpticalMoose@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
    39·
    7 days ago

    I’m fine with anyone saying “surrender your man card”. It lets me know I can safely ignore this moron; they have nothing of value to add to any conversation.

  • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.worldEnglish
    302·
    7 days ago

    This US thing baffles me. It goes “whoa, a man cannot possibly buy tampons, or hold his friends handbag, or whatever…” because some braindead six year old idiot character out of Beavis and Butthead might magically pop out of thin air and guffaw “Haha, tampons!”, which is somehow, potentially terminally embarassing and will end your public life.

    • Sarmyth@lemmy.worldEnglish
      28·
      6 days ago

      Its not a US thing. Its a loser thing. This brand of machismo is globally available.

      • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.worldEnglish
        83·
        6 days ago

        While it’s globally available, it’s really much much much more prevalent in the US. And it has been for, litterally, decades. Fourty years ago, a US girlfriend was already complaining about it, and I didn’t understand what it was about (Yes, I might be older than you are). It’s also completely obvious in US mass media.

        • Sarmyth@lemmy.worldEnglish
          73·
          6 days ago

          It really isn’t, BUT American media is a power house globally and makes many of our cultural events more prevalent than reality. If you travel the world, you’ll find things far worse in India, Brazil, Mexico, and really most non-first world countries. I mean theyre so afraid of homosexualty in parts of the world they consider you a demon and kill you.

          One of the reasons you hear about it in the USA is that its considered newsworthy. If it was as common as you were implying it would be like reporting on the prevalence of turkey sandwiches for lunch. We dont eat them all the time but its not weird or rare.

          Modern men are engaged with their children of both genders and youtube has further propped up the narrative that being a good father means doing so at only a positive reflection of your masculinity.

          • pulsey@feddit.orgEnglish
            2·
            6 days ago

            I mean theyre so afraid of homosexualty in parts of the world they consider you a demon and kill you.

            A thing that also happened (and is probably still happening) in parts of the US.

          • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.worldEnglish
            53·
            6 days ago

            It’s also, because you bathe in it, that you don’t realise how utterly different the US is in so many ways from the rest of the werstern world. No, really.

            From the innumerable religious sects, the numerous racial things, the bizarre poliltics, the relationship to the body (like the ritual cock cutting to avoid masturbation, or the fear of areolas), the extremely strict gendered roles (see above), the love of money (which, admittedly, was kind of a global thing, until it became Gelt Uber Alles! and fucked up your whole society, even though it was the one that started with the most progress for the working class, inspiring people everywhere else… what the fuck happened?).

            And that’s probably just scratching the surface. Of course, you can start to find some of this here and there in other “western” countries nowadays. And you can find more of it in “nonaligned” countries.

            That’s not the point though. What I meant to say is that the US mindset is on average very different from that of the other western countries when you start to dig a bit (and yes, of course you’ll find lots of exceptions). So the rise of something weird in the US isn’t really surprising. Although I would have expected something more explicitly religious than a rapist paedophile.

            • merc@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
              4·
              6 days ago

              I’ve travelled and it seems to me like every country has their own insecurities when it comes to gender roles. Like, in some countries they have hangups about men in the kitchen. But, those same countries don’t have hangups about men dancing that the US sometimes does. Other countries have hangups about hairstyles or shoes, but it’s ok for men to show physical affection by hugging or holding hands.

  • hardcoreufo@lemmy.worldEnglish
    26·
    6 days ago

    I think worrying about if your actions will “lose your man card” is the surest way to “lose your man card.”

  • skisnow@lemmy.caEnglish
    16·
    6 days ago

    I love the “man card” metaphor because the more you interrogate it the worse it gets. It implies that his masculinity is so insubstantial that he needs a special card to validate it, like a Linus Blanket or something, which in turn is a self-defeating act.

    The Man Card Paradox is that holding a Man Card automatically disqualifies you from holding a Man Card.

  • /home/pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    22·
    7 days ago

    My work has guys who have really high toxic masculinity. Off the top of my head, some of the things they complain about not being man enough are: umbrellas, gluten free, and mushrooms

  • chris@l.roofo.ccEnglish
    171·
    7 days ago

    I thought long and hard about what it would mean to me if someone called me “not a man” for anything I do and I came to the following conclusion: nothing. I can do all the same things with or without the label “man”. Funny.

    • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.worldEnglish
      10·
      7 days ago

      I remember when I first realized that Flat Earthers were serious. For a couple of years after hearing about them, I assumed it was satire. Something in me broke then, the realization that not only a few people, but many people were really that stupid. It’s only gotten worse since.

      On the upside, my estimation of my own intelligence went from “average” to “above average”. And, I’m fucking stupid.

      • A_norny_mousse@feddit.orgEnglish
        1·
        5 days ago

        I remember when I first realized that Flat Earthers were serious. For a couple of years after hearing about them, I assumed it was satire. Something in me broke then

        It was the very same with me. At first I thought it was one of those weird internet hoaxes that had gathered a following.
        And “something in me broke” describes the realization that they are serious (and that reactionary FE predates the internet) quite well. But that was sometime during Trump1.0 and the breaking might have had several reasons.

        the realization that not only a few people, but many people were really that stupid. It’s only gotten worse since. On the upside, my estimation of my own intelligence went from “average” to “above average”. And, I’m fucking stupid.

        My conclusion - after watching hours and hours of SciManDan and Conspiracy Catz and Professor Dave - is a little different: the people spreading that shit are grifters. Shameless, careless people whose only motivation and moral is greed. They know. The people following it are sad and lonely and vulnerable people - yes, useful idiots, and yes, there’s still way too many of them.

        Unfortunately there isn’t a clear distinction between the two types, there’s lots of followers that fall somewhere in between - kinda only half aware of the grift, willing to follow it, but somehow still believing it’s true while at the same time thinking they, too, can profit from it. BTW, I believe these in-between types are what makes MAGA (which is mostly just as idiotic a conspiracy narrative) so big.

        WRT intelligence - let’s just say I have been thinking a lot about the difference between ignorance, stupidity and wilful ignorance.

    • mwproductions@lemmy.worldEnglish
      3·
      7 days ago

      I’m guessing these are the same guys that don’t wipe their own butts after they poop because they think touching a man’s butt is gay.

  • slothrop@lemmy.caEnglish
    142·
    7 days ago

    My daughters and I (and my son, and my wife) have been to more than 50 concerts together. Got another on December 5th: 12 of us.
    We love music. And one another.