He’s been trying to contact you about your vehicle’s extended warranty.

I need for there to be sound 😭

TIL female ferrets are Vulcans.

To the tune of the chicken dance:

Kitty kitty kitty kitty

Kitty kitty kitty kitty

Kitty kitty kitty kitty

CAT CAT CAT

I have both of those sliding styles in my house. Kitchen windows are all side sliding, and are as wide as all other vertical sliding windows in the house are tall.

Except the bathroom, that one is half as tall as the tall ones/half as wide as the wide ones, it slides vertically.

All vertical sliding windows have the opening at the bottom, all horizontal sliding windows have the opening on the right.

West coast, USA.

Hello Ruby! This is Nelly. I bet you two would hate each other.

There used to be roving gangs of nude joggers, but they went and changed the law in 2012 and ruined everyone’s fun.

😳

Scooping…? Can I introduce you to a thing called fiber?

I like @MacNCheezus@lemmy.today

Hey name sibling!

Is there a ren faire in your area? Maybe you could find one to work at, or like, a magic shoppe. It will be better received if there is a reason for you being in character.

When lavender infused foods got trendy twenty years ago, the first time I tried some lavender pound cake I spit it out because it tasted like soap. But I kept trying it, lavender tea, white chocolate, cakes, cookies, coffee. Eventually, lavender soap started to smell like tasty treats.

“deflaming”

Close enough to boop.

20 years ago I worked at a shitty chocolate shop in a tourist town that put up a massive banner over the front of the building, opposing the effort to raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour.

These assholes would have literal temper tantrums if I wasn’t running at full speed through the back of the shop with knee-high sugar boilers cranked full bore, which I could have easily fallen face first into, to fetch whatever the customers wanted in that moment.

Like, you fuckers want maximum effort from me, while actively opposing an increase in the minimum that you are allowed to pay me? Fuck all the way off.

I would sometimes pick up lunch at the Taco Bell across the street and do my best to keep the total below the $6.75 per hour I was being paid. That wasn’t a lot of Taco Bell in 2005.

Did he get a bee sting on his snoot in picture number three?

Do you mean like a fecal transplant? I don’t think it would work well.