My wife and I have received several compliments just for giving both of our daughters normal, pronounceable names. Names I don’t see very often anymore, but perfectly normal before 9/11 altered the timeline and made everyone unbearably stupid.

I grew up foraging mushrooms in Michigan, but ever since moving to Alberta I’ve never felt comfortable hunting mushrooms here. I need to go with someone confident who has done it their entire lives. But I did learn recently that a different species of morel actually grows out here. I’m going to try hunting those this year.

Bees went fucking nuts for my lupine, even while living in an urban environment. Only problem was that the aphids did too. So many that it was revolting. I had to aggressively remove them every single day of the colonies would explode and destroy my lupine within a very short time. They’d suck it dry.

A lady who supposedly “worked for a water company” and won’t drink tap water argued very confidently this morning that the little flakes you can see in tap water are not minerals. I put on my serious research face, but only had to do one Google search (they’re minerals).

That man’s face needs to be studied. It is incredible.

Great until the cops are looking for that one Juggalo in Jamestown but you have to represent…

I didn’t get very into yogurt until after I had moved from the US to Canada, and now I’m haunted by the huge selection of flavours in the US that I no longer have access to. That’s okay, though. Liberté Greek yogurt is far superior to anything I ever tried down there.

We do both. We have organized dishes in one cupboard, and an absolute cluster-fuck in the one where we keep all the kids’ dishes and water bottles. In 30 years it will be that cupboard that our grand-kids pull an old plastic Barbie cup out of and have to give a quick smell test before pouring their drink into. You know the one.

I’m still afraid to switch to Linux because I’ve used Windows since i was a kid with Windows 95. It’s gotten progressively worse, and I’m still reluctantly camped out on Windows 10, but the thought of firing up a new operating system and going back to being a confused adolescent who doesn’t know how to get around (with or without accidentally making an older woman crouching in red lingerie the desktop wallpaper on my family computer and then denying any knowledge of it) makes me really uneasy.

Please, Linux whisperers. Calm my woes. 😓

I feel like I used to see this image on batteries in the '90s.

He said ants, not aunts.

What’cha got there, m8?

EDIT: It appears that another party has published the contents of my journal before me, currently with a resounding 15 upvotes. I believe this previous poster is a farce. A Telvanni spy sent to ridicule my work.

"I believe I may have found the correct formula for the spell I am developing. With it, I will be able to travel great distances without the need to pay others for the service.

If all goes well, I will test out the new spell tomorrow. I believe I have worked out all of the possible complications. It will allow me to leap great distances, covering many hundreds of miles. Never before has one been able to travel in this manner: vaulting from the ground, sailing through the sky, all without that terrible disorientation of a spell of flying.

The time is almost upon me. My research is finished, and all of my calculations are checked and rechecked. They laughed at me when I suggested this. We’ll see who laughs after I leap to the top of their towers and scream out my success."

Just get people to agree to live in crowded vaults and have them sign a waver accepting any and all psychological torture performed on them. That’s a functional Fallout reality show.

If the bombs go off near the wrong zoo, it’ll be pandamonium…

… I don’t… understand…

Just walking around in pajama pants with no shirt on…

I never fully grasped the true scale of a single galaxy (and then expanded that understanding to the observable universe) until I hopped in my ship in Elite Dangerous and actually set off to cross one. Holy fucking shit, does it really help put it into perspective when you’re traveling between vast galactic arms, hopping individual stars 50-70 Ly at a time and trying your damndest not to stretch yourself too thin in fear of running out of scoopable fuel/stars.

If I were an Astronomy teacher, Elite would be my most profound and precious tool.

My DM never gave a shit or required me to buy arrows. I tracked them sometimes anyway, but we always just shrugged and said I either fletched my own during downtime, or that arrows were included in general party upkeep/funds.