“Herring fart or Russian sub” is my second favorite underwater guessing game.

Anyone claiming to be a prophet (or being described as one) is a false prophet. No need for a video.

I’m glad you’re asking this question, it’s about time.

They brought a stool over…

That makes sense, they’d have to supply it for a C-section but not a vaginal birth since all that pushing means the stool typically just shows up.

I brought down all my department’s services to take a day off and blame it on Amazon. Next year when negotiating a raise/budget increase, I’ll point to this incident and take credit for migrating us off AWS after six months of in-person training classes (either in places I haven’t visited or would like to see again) and another six months of hard work in the office (napping in the server room).

2026 is looking pretty good already and I definitely won’t regret tempting fate by saying that.

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This meowchine kills fascists.

They can bukkake him with ribbons and medals until he looks like a North Korean general, guy is still a corrupt braindead pedo and deserves no respect. I won’t complain about him supporting Ukraine to push (what’s left of) the Russians back to Russia though.

Yeah but only if they’re 23- and 40-year-old former illegal street racers.

We’re fucked and now it’s a matter of determining how much fuckeder we’re going to be.

I will have one hell please, thank you.

ignored repeated stern warnings

I hate it when I run through a crowd with my fist leading the way, shouting “Don’t get punched, don’t get punched, don’t get punched!” and then they think it’s my fault when somebody hits my fist with their face. Can’t they see I’m the victim here?

FCC Bribe Fee: $30.00

They each get a spin on the Wheel of Bereavement. Prizes include a multi-pack of Cheetos, Lada (used), or a copy of The Sims 3 _{or an enlistment contract.}

You should take fewer showers.

Tricky.

Nobody bats 1.000. You might catch people on an off day and get a fizzle instead of a bang but they’ll forget about it long before you do. Getting a good one to land makes up for it though, people will remember and re-tell them for years if you’re lucky. The world ought to be funnier than it is.

I see 7 comments on one and 6 on the other. Are you seeing 0 or just fewer than you remember?

I have an idea but it requires several pairs of simultaneously-activated key switches and will probably end humanity.

The people involved are the common denominator.