What’s New Pussycat? - Tom Jones
Woah woah woah woah woah
I play the Ghostbusters theme at every bar within WiFi range (4 If I stand on the right corner) using the TouchTunes app on my phone about once a month. I stand there on the corner and queue it up 4 times at each bar and pay extra so that it cannot be skipped. I don’t precisely know what reactions it gets out of the crowd. For all I know the bartenders are on to me and just unplug the speakers for the duration of the 4 songs. But in my mind, I imagine it really annoys people. Not sure why I do it.
Edit: The thing I like to imagine most is somebody getting fed up, leaving, walking down the block to another bar and hearing it before even getting in the door. Delicious.
Satan here. Just want you to know I’m a big fan.
I salute you sir.
What’s new pussycat - John Mulaney has a bit about doing just that
Echoes by Pink Floyd. Mostly because it’s 23 minutes long. So if the jukebox doesn’t take total track time into account when leering you pick, you can eat an entire hour of playtime with only three credits.
People will be okay with the first play. The song is dynamic enough that it doesn’t feel overly repetitive. Then the second one starts, and people start to go “wow I don’t remember the song being this long.” By the time the second one has wrapped up, some people have clued in. Then the third one rolls around, and people are ready for something that isn’t Echoes, but you still have another 23 minutes to go.
It also lines up perfectly with part 3 of 2001 Space Odyssey.
Well, I know what I’m doing Friday night.
Call me maybe, that shit is a massive ear worm and seems to annoy a whole generation.
The 20 minute track of Arlo Guthrie talking about Alice’s Restaurant might be a decent pick.
The fact I want to downvote this means it is a good choice. Well done.
If you do that on the night before thanksgiving, it’ll just make me happy
If I wanted to annoy an entire bar, I wouldn’t limit it to a single song. You gotta judge the vibe of the bar first. Biker bar? Death metal might be welcomed there. Some young college bar with a bunch of yuppie-barely-legal-to-drink kids, they might not enjoy it. With that, pick a theme. Biker bar? Hit 'em with the full Kidz Bop compilation. Young college bar? Maybe the death metal, or something classical.
Baby shark in repeat. People’'d probably start fighting each other pretty soon.
Would that even be an option in a bar jukebox?
Surfing Bird
Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy in Eight Parts by by Manowar
A 28-and-a-half-minute hair metal song that is a retelling of The Iliad. It even has an extended drum solo.
If someone can hang with this track, they are a true gem of a person.
Of course you have to follow it with The Odyssey by Symphony X, a 24-minute symphonic metal track.
Honestly if it’s not too loud it sounds like ok background music.
I unironically love the song. But I have actively trolled a bar with an internet juke box using it several times.
something like Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex?
Elvira - The Oakridge Boys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGKatCAQed0
I know this from experience because when this song was fairly new, we were eating in a Pizza Hut and a kids Little League team came in after their game and proceeded to occupy a good portion of the restaurant. I swear every damn one of those kids had a quarter for the jukebox and every one of them picked that song. And if that wasn’t bad enough, they all just had to frickin’ sing along with it on top of that! I remember a couple of those little turds waving their arms like conductors…
I was bouncing at a bar in college when Lady Gaga was first getting huge, and we had a touchtunes that would play two songs for a dollar. So, sorority girls would come in put a dollar in, and play one lady gaga song and one other popular song at the time. It seemed like every third or fourth song was lady gaga. Being a sober person amongst drunk people playing the same songs all night long was getting on my nerves.
Lucky for me, there was a bar top game machine that also had touch tunes worked into the system. And, even luckier for me, I could play next for a dollar instead of the usual two dollars.
Every time lady gaga played, I’d put a dollar into the bar top console and I’d play next Hall & Oates “Rich Girl”. Yes, I’d probably lose money most of my tip out doing this, but it was worth it for me.
Took a couple nights for my manager to catch on, and he got a kick out of it. And it went on like this for a month or so until he got annoyed with it and told me to knock it off. Which I mostly did, but I’d still do it a couple times a night.
The best part for me was some sorority girl who asked her group of friends when my song came on, “what’s with this song playing all the time?”
Bouncers make tips?
Bartenders will generally split off a certain percentage of their tips with bar backs and bouncers. Just as waiters will split off some of their take with the kitchen.
I once pissed off the owner of a bar who was being a dick to my friend who worked there by playing “Hammer Smashed Face” by Cannibal Corpse 5 times in a row. It’s really heavy death metal and was abrasive to most of his customers.
I felt bad about doing Meathook Sodomy from Cannibal Corpse…Hammer Smashed face was fun
Was having dinner in Janesville, WI one night. Someone pulled up Kid Rock’s All Summer Long on repeat, it had played like 20 times by the time we left. Every time it started again, someone in the bar would shout “FUCK!”
That reminds me of when I was in college and my friend tried to put Bjork, Human Behavior on. Touch screen kiosks in the 90s didn’t work so well and it wouldn’t start so he kept putting it in.
After the 2nd time it played he waved apologetically at everyone.
After the 4th time it played, he said we had to leave.
It started again on our way out.
