take your woodchipper, chip up guard A. point to guard b, then the woodchipper: ja or da. point to guard c, do the same. then tell them you are coming back with the woodchipper if you don’t like what you find through the door, and ask them to point to which door you should go through. pointing doesn’t require words.

edit: wait I know, don’t ask questions, just open doors, throw the guards through and see what happens. whoever survives, take that door

what if the skeleton has a banana?

pretty sure the changing the clock itself hits more kids than the daylight saves but I haven’t looked at the study in at least a decade. I’m a proponent of picking one a staying there, I don’t care which.

DON’T FORGET THIS BROTHER AROOOOO

infintiny? you bloopid monkye

Well, you can use the books as a form of random number generator. Maybe this can work for the blind in a much, much more compact form than a braille book (which, if you’ve never seen are fucking huge)? I don’t know. I’m sure whoever buys it has some reason they want it.

I liked the magic system a lot more than XV (where I felt like I could never use it). That’s the one thing I remember from it.

I’ve never tried

just throw carrots at them, they’ll be distracted and you can take them from any direction

sounds like you need more mcburgers to fix that problem

I wish they would do this a week ago, so the kids could experience halloween how it’s supposed to be, IN THE FUCKING DARK

I bet they’ve upgraded so instead of ostomies they have cybernetic poop compactors that shoot out little compressed bricks, easy for use in imperial construction.

my dude the local permit guy has his head deeper up his butt than any of the plugs are supposed to go. I don’t even want to try for a parade.

as far as what ceremony, everyone’s got their rituals to make them feel special shut up

yeah but how many ceremonial buttplugs did they have? not just day to day buttplugs, I’m talking formal occasion ones.

but if ghosts are real what am I gonna eat. i like eating

if there is, they are congregating on different sites than I frequent and I thank them for that,

you smell different, but you still smell unique.

source: attended the gilroy garlic festival annually for 15 years

buffering

I’ve had too many cold nights in winter where you wake up in the middle of the night, pinch a quick loaf, and then scurry off to bed. Now, with warm water, it’s nice and cozy and next minute you’re like a fuzzy numble all snuggled up in a big cozy cinnamon bun back in bed still asleep. Cold water, well, there’s these nights it’s winter and the dead of night and suddenly your pucker screams ¡Ooo! ¿what temperature is that? well it’s gonna take an hour to get back to sleep now.

I do not miss those winters