A shitty spoof we made about hot pockets. We listed it on Napster or Limewire as a bootleg.

Whoa. I hope it was my fake Limp Bizkit song because a couple friends and I actually did this around 2000.

It’s a called dumpass.

I think he may have soul doubt.

Weather you like it or not, we have a mountain of hard choices in front of us. And nobody seems willing to climate.

Hearing them tell it, you would think they were more upset about the stash than his death.

I like to think it was both. He probably crashed because he was fapping in the car on the way to the wank cave to swap the fap cache. At least then he died doing what he loved.

Come to think of it, I’m reminded of a detail that may corroborate my theory. He was ejected from the car when it rolled. It actually pancaked his head, leaving the rest of him pretty intact.

Anyway, he clearly wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. So now I’m thinking why wasn’t he wearing it? And why was his dick out when they found him? I guess God is mysterious or whatever he used to like to say.

Ah, the dead man’s switch. It always reminds me of the time my homophobic uncle-in-law died in a car crash and they found his secret stash of gay porn in the wreckage. Yeah, good luck explaining that one at the pearly gates my man.

Who said that? There is no room for a nuance discussion?

I didn’t watch the video, but based on the text it sure seems like the kid made choices that a reasonable person could think were incredibly risky given the circumstances.

Pointing that out does not mean that you think it was reasonable to shoot him; just that you think it is unsurprising.

But hey, it’s only genocide until they are all gone. After that it’s all cookies and rainbows.