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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: January 23rd, 2025

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  • Best case: He has a secret family that he uses to make apple fritters for you.

    Worst cast: He has a secret family to which he’s funneling apple fritters, which is why you get none.

    Weird case: He has a secret family of anthropomorphic apple-fritter-human hybrids he’s hiding from you and your hunger.













  • On January 3rd, 2026, a small group of US armed forces paid a visit to Northern Venezuela, beginning their tour around 2 A.M. local time, when various elements of Venezuelan infrastructure began to explode. President Maduro and his Wife fled the chaos aboard a US Military aircraft on which they were photographed in cozy-looking sleep masks and wearing shiny new bracelets. They landed in New York to settle into their new accommodations and are expected to begin sharing their experiences in a court of law sometime in March.

    Meanwhile, on the high seas, several Venezuelan oil tankers, otherwise floundering in the chaos, have been seen being escorted by US Naval fleets to various safe harbors along the US coast, where it’s expected their precious cargo will be offloaded for safekeeping.