Damn… am I on the Truman Show or something?

Even spiders have that one uncle that’s like “pull my horseshoe vortices”.

Weird, I haven’t heard anyone say they hated Coldplay for this. In fact, I’d say that Coldplay is one of those bands that is regularly hated on, well before any of the cheating CEO and now, if anything, Coldplay is more liked, even if indirectly just because the situation was funny and meme’d so much.

Remember when cabinet members went to prison for taking bribes from giant companies and in return giving them government contracts (the teapot dome scandal)?

And now that’s just normal “business” for politicians.

Nah, it would have been way better (especially for literally everyone else) if they didn’t play at all.

Instead all the greediest people are realizing they can do this and they get all the things they want (so does Trump, along with more power) and it’s only at the expense of the entire American population (and the rest of the world too).

Fuck Cook. It isn’t clever. It’s literally greed. It’s not even that other people haven’t thought to do this, it’s that you have to be a total piece of shit to do this.

What a fucking tool.

Eventually someone is going to get the idea that hospitals should start installing chips and screens into the skin of newborns and it either displays ads or it only cost $150k to have it removed. Thanks for having your baby at our hospital. The ads help pay for our CEO’s 4th mansion.

Was it ever a question that it wasn’t on purpose?

Alright, I’ve looked through the overwhelming amount of responses telling me to end things with him and I’m so grateful for all the support, but I’ve decided that I’m going to stay with him and we’re going to get pregnant asap 😜. I’ve realized that I just can’t live without him (even if that means it comes with the occasional black eye). I’ll always forgive him. He is my brother after all.

To be fair, most of the posts that people are commenting to break up on are like “Hey, so my significant other stabbed me in the stomach last week and as I was sitting in the hospital, I realized that it just made me feel disrespected, ya know? This of course all happened after he told my parents he owns me and they can’t see me ever again and he threw my cat out of a 4 story window. What should I do guys?”

Jeepers!