Or is it just a “fake it till you make it” kind of thing? I definitely haven’t got shit together, but I’ve learned to juggle and balance all my problems to perfection so that outsiders could easily mistake it for “having shit together”. You should just focus on who you are and be the best you you can be. “Having shit together” is mostly a relative metric which is good for measuring the masses, but not fair to measure you personally.
Not to belittle you kid’s efforts, it’s a great feat they’ve achieved, but it sounds like survivorship bias. You can do everything right and still fail. Being in the right place at the right time and having the right connections matter.