Whoosh

I hear those things are awfully loud

Simple! Just change the gravitational constant of the universe.

A niche that small would be hard to distinguish from quantum fluctuations.

What, like slave-rowed galleys?

It’s weird to say there’s no upper limit. Somewhere around magnitude 46, the entire universe would collapse into a black hole. I think once you’ve destroyed the universe, you can stop counting.

Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you keep it a secret! Why didn’t you tell the world, EH?

Just one more lane! This time it’ll work! Come on man, just two more lanes!

I started learning Japanese recently. It’s made me realizehow sloppy English is with vowel sounds.

The cure for ignorance is education. Even PhD-holders can be stupid.