I still can’t believe they named her Jet Reno, because it just makes me think about Janet Reno.

Makeup is “chemicals that destroy your skin”? What on earth.

Is there a green gatorade?

This is so real, I swear to god. I joke about how neurotic I am about housework, and my house is always pristine, but still my worst nightmare is someone stopping by unexpectedly. My house can be spick and span and I’ll still apologize for the state of it.

Ah whoops!

Why are they all pigeon-toed?

Why are they all pigeon-toed?

… you know what? Yes, please!

She’s getting so big! 🤍

Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys

This better not awaken anything in me

Shirling

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Ha you’re not wrong!

Amethyst and iris. These are pretty much my signature colors. But purples are like doggos: I love them all. 💜

“Klem,” you may ask, “do you have a relevant eyeshadow palette in your collection?”

Of course I do!:

Pakled.

Couldn’t you just suggest “On se tutoie?”?

Pick my nose and wipe it on the interviewer’s desk, and acknowledge nothing.

Mortgage, no question.

Classic Wormantha.