To keep it short: my ex-wife cheated on me with this guy, we divorced, she married him immediately after. Since January we’ve been co-parenting, she has our son (14 years old) for 2 weeks & I have him for 2 weeks. Her now husband is wealthy, and for the winter holidays they plan on going to the Maldives for 3 weeks (I agreed to give up 1 week of my 2 weeks; gonna get +1 week with son after the vacation). Apparently son has been asking his mom and stepdad if I can come as well. So ex-wife calls me and asks me if I’d like to go, all expenses paid by them, just to be with our son and have some fun - and let’s “put all the bad blood behind”. I told her I’ll think about it, but honestly I don’t think I’d feel comfortable. At the same time going would make son extremely happy obviously. Idk.
You’re allowed to not be ready to do something like that even if it would make your son happy. It’s okay to put up boundaries for your mental health.
This is the best answer.
This is a boundary I would definitely not cross. Not only would this fuck up my mental health, but there would definitely be some kind of argument that would happen during the trip that would just make the whole experience regrettable and worsen the situation between all parties.
If I were OP I would definitely say no and instead explain to the boy why it’s not possible.
At 14 years old, the boy can probably understand.
Well he obviously wants to spend time with his dad, which is great.
Maybe OP can find other activities to do on vacation. Like renting a cabin or cottage somewhere near a lake or river. I know I loved to go on fishing trips with my dad. Or doing campfires and roasting marshmallows, etc. I miss the 1on1 time we spent together.