To keep it short: my ex-wife cheated on me with this guy, we divorced, she married him immediately after. Since January we’ve been co-parenting, she has our son (14 years old) for 2 weeks & I have him for 2 weeks. Her now husband is wealthy, and for the winter holidays they plan on going to the Maldives for 3 weeks (I agreed to give up 1 week of my 2 weeks; gonna get +1 week with son after the vacation). Apparently son has been asking his mom and stepdad if I can come as well. So ex-wife calls me and asks me if I’d like to go, all expenses paid by them, just to be with our son and have some fun - and let’s “put all the bad blood behind”. I told her I’ll think about it, but honestly I don’t think I’d feel comfortable. At the same time going would make son extremely happy obviously. Idk.

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
    21·
    19 hours ago

    Do you get a separate room? Tbh I’d go and spend the entire time getting laid on this guy’s dime. Just figure out how to make sure you don’t get used for free babysitting. Work out a 50-50 coparenting schedule.

    • meowMix2525@lemm.ee
      3·
      18 hours ago

      It’s a 14 year old kid, they’re mostly self sufficient at that point. Whether you’re “stuck” babysitting or get to relax on your own I see it as a win-win. If the couple want to squander their vacation time solely with each other (in which case, why did they take the extra week from OP instead of just leaving the kid with him the whole time??) while OP gets to bond with their child on a free vacation, I just don’t see how that’s a punishment.

      Leave it up to the kid, they’re the one that wanted their dad with them and the whole reason he’s invited.

      Abandoning your kid, making them feel like a burden, to go fuck around with strangers, just to get back at an ex who happens to be the mother of your child, seems like an asshole move here. Please don’t do this OP.

      Edit: OP is the father, my bad. Editing now.

      • Lumisal@lemmy.world
        1·
        16 hours ago

        I’d say do it.

        If anything, consider it a win that your kid loves you enough to insist on you going. It could even be a sign that he sees what she did as wrong. Kids aren’t dumb. I can tell you I liked my mom more than my dad in part because he cheated on her. Most likely he just wants to go to the Maldives, but he really really just doesn’t want to go with them. Going with you could be his own sense of justice in all this.

        I’d say make sure he can stay with you tho instead of them. I get the feeling that’s what he wants.

      • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
        01·
        19 hours ago

        Oooo, wait! See if they’ll pay for your new girlfriend to come too. It’s ok if you don’t have any candidates yet, they won’t be hard to get if there’s a free trip in it for them.

        • meowMix2525@lemm.ee
          2·
          18 hours ago

          Definitely don’t introduce a stranger to your child on a family trip just to make your ex jealous and/or take advantage of their new partner. This is a shitty thing to do. Just spend the free vacation with your kid or don’t go if you can’t be civil.