A mother***king MERRY CHRYSLER
The means to properly document Jesus’ existence so that we had even one shred of actual evidence that any of this stuff happened.
Glock w a switch
A pack of disposable diapers. They understandably looked at me weird because they hadn’t been invented yet.
Fentanyl.
Oh, thank god it wasn’t Tylenol.
One of those string pull animal sound thingies where the cow goes “moo” and the lamb goes “baa” and Judas goes “he’s over there man”.
I didn’t shit the whole journey, then I crapped it all out into Christ’s crib. You won’t hear about it in the Bible, but the Bible carries on the spirit of the gift: it’s a bunch of shit.
Wait Wait, so without you, it would have been worse?
Sometimes, in secret, the priests share a cup.
Diapers. I brought something that new parents actually need, but the story tellers thought it was boring.
it’s not what i brought, it’s how badly i destroyed their toilet on his first birthday party.
The Bubba photos.
Poison
One of those I support single moms stripper t-shirts. For carpenter joe of course.
Pumpkin pie
You brought a delicacy made from fruits that grow in a land none of them has ever heard of. That’d be pretty remarkable.
Damn right. Nothing beats pumpkin pie, especially around Christmas.
A paternity test
Congratulations turns out your half roman!
My half Roman what?
That’s more like 3/4 roman
Booze.
