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slothrop@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 6 days ago

Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers

theonion.com

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Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers

theonion.com

slothrop@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 6 days ago
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WASHINGTON—Touting his latest executive order as a historic win for the U.S. economy, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he was mandating a 5,000% increase in all numbers nationwide. “Effective immediately, 100 will now be 5,100 and—I’m reading off the official statistics from my people—500 will be 25,500,” said Trump, speaking from the Oval Office […]
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  • Lightfire228@pawb.social
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    6 days ago

    I 5000% believed it, before seeing the sub name

  • Zachariah@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

  • barnaclebutt@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Sure this is satire now. But, he’ll say this brain-dead bullshit sometime in the near future.

    • w3dd1e@lemmy.zip
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      6 days ago

      The show Veep basically wrapped when Trump got elected in 2016 because he said dumber shit than they could write for the characters.

  • geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml
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    5 days ago

    I thought it was nottheonion at first.

  • dhork@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    Shouldn’t the article have referred to him as “4029 year old Trump”?

    • slothrop@lemmy.caOP
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      5 days ago

      4786

  • prime_number_314159@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I won’t be 16022109. You can’t make me. It’s not even prime! Not even prime, I say!

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