He sounds like a wise person and I like his apt illustration.
For example, is the blessing of a traveling companion measured by the miles you share? Of course not. They had and will have their own adventures apart from yours. Pretending otherwise is immature. Claiming otherwise is delusion. Demanding otherwise is selfish. Yet many do.
The fact that immaturity, delusion and selfishness are common in relationships isn’t surprising (it’s common outside them too) but the way it’s still casually accepted as default in our culture is a pity. “Me or no one” exclusivity under “till death” contracts remain non-negotiable parameters for many who are blind to everything that coercion steals from them.
Thought experiment: let’s say Alice goes with Bob to his place after their date, implying she wants sex, but later she doesn’t feel like it. Is it OK for Bob to insist based on what she implied? That is, does he have her consent? But what if Alice was more explicit, or signed a written contract? OK but what if the contract just prevented Alice from leaving? What if it specified some incentive? What about just making him her only option?
This is at least approaching legal bounds, but that wasn’t the question. The question was does Bob have Alice’s consent. We can agree on one thing at least. Bob might have Alice’s consent. Unfortunately, he made it quite hard to ever be sure.
He sounds like a wise person and I like his apt illustration.
For example, is the blessing of a traveling companion measured by the miles you share? Of course not. They had and will have their own adventures apart from yours. Pretending otherwise is immature. Claiming otherwise is delusion. Demanding otherwise is selfish. Yet many do.
The fact that immaturity, delusion and selfishness are common in relationships isn’t surprising (it’s common outside them too) but the way it’s still casually accepted as default in our culture is a pity. “Me or no one” exclusivity under “till death” contracts remain non-negotiable parameters for many who are blind to everything that coercion steals from them.
Thought experiment: let’s say Alice goes with Bob to his place after their date, implying she wants sex, but later she doesn’t feel like it. Is it OK for Bob to insist based on what she implied? That is, does he have her consent? But what if Alice was more explicit, or signed a written contract? OK but what if the contract just prevented Alice from leaving? What if it specified some incentive? What about just making him her only option?
This is at least approaching legal bounds, but that wasn’t the question. The question was does Bob have Alice’s consent. We can agree on one thing at least. Bob might have Alice’s consent. Unfortunately, he made it quite hard to ever be sure.