• Zip2@feddit.uk
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    5 months ago

    That made me laugh!

    I mean you’re not entirely wrong, but have you considered that might just be a side effect of getting on in years rather than not having dating apps 30+ years ago?

    • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 months ago

      I’m glad the joke was well received, sometimes flippant sarcasm lands flat online!

      I think there’s a lot of factors that could play into my parent’s (I’m in my mid 30’s, fwiw) generation seeming to suffer such marital woes. I think there was a lot of social pressure to marry and have children quickly that put them in relationships they may not have ideally chosen and at younger ages. People seem to change a lot during their 20’s. I absolutely found myself connecting well with some people at age 21 who I couldn’t stand by age 24. I think there was a lot of sexual repression as well. I wonder if my parents generation had had more freedom to explore LGBTQ and polyamorous relationships without fear of ostracization or worse consequences if they’d be overall happier in their marriages, even if they ended up in a heterosexual relationship.

      I think the contemporary ideas on divorce also influenced people to stay in relationships they did not want to be in, and, frankly, the lack of social mobility for women seriously negatively impacted women’s abilities to leave toxic relationships. That was lessened in my parent’s generation from their parent’s, but it still existed and it still exists to some extent today.

      Maybe it’s simply getting older? But I think it’s partially that older generations happen to stay in relationships longer, they’re less likely to split when things turn sour. Or even sour-ish.

      I’m not sure if dating is truly easier or harder today than it was ten years ago, twenty years ago, thirty, etc, but it sure is different and, yeah, the apps are pretty much just a data collection program that covers itself with the thin veil of a yenta