I struggle with this too. I think it’s because it feels so damned nonproductive to not try and figure out how to make things better. Matter of fact, it feels like how I approach people dumping personal problems at work…indifference I suppose. And that’s the last thing I want to show someone I care about. So it weighs me down.
I’ve taken to asking questions from different angles during the venting, and this seems to be my best strategy. Results are mixed.
I’ve accepted that I can’t be one of these “there, there” people because I don’t enjoy feeling useless. I care, what’s being said matters to me, but I can’t be myself in the situation. And that feels bad.
On a driving business trip, it came as a shock to some of my white coworkers that some of our black coworkers did NOT want to hit up Cracker Barrel for breakfast. A little learning took place that day.
But all things considered, if there were such a place as Soul Power Breakfast Kitchen , I (mostly white) would stop in and expect deliciousness!