Tell a related story is best choice because it shows that you really feel what that person is coming through since you’ve came through similar situation yourself
that’s what neurodivergent people do to show sympathy - very often unknowingly. folks sometimes think we do that to get the attention for ourselves, but it’s just a long winded way of saying “i understand what you feel, you’re not alone in your pain”
I learned this a few years ago and my mind was blown because I’m autistic and this is indeed my instinct. I have also found that neurodivergent people are more likely to respond positively to an anecdote.
Neurotypical people tend to react better to “reflective listening” — basically the “it sucks” button, but more expanded. Like if someone is venting about something, I might say “That sounds really frustrating”, or similar. It feels like playing conversational ping pong where I’m not an active participant in the rally, but just reacting to my conversation partner’s shots.
I don’t tend to find reflective listening especially helpful if I’m the recipient of it (I cope with problems differently), so it blew my mind when I was trying to support a friend with these techniques and they ended the conversation by thanking me for the support, and they really needed that. It baffled me because I hadn’t felt like I’d said anything really at all, besides just reflecting stuff back at them, which felt sort of like small talk but even more superficial. But nah, turns out that different people find different kinds of support helpful. The_More_You_Know.jpg
When is only you and your friend in evening near the grill, then i don’t know which sympathy i stole, i mean men truly open up very rarely and often in very small circle or even only to one person, so you have to show some compassion in these moments
Tell a related story is best choice because it shows that you really feel what that person is coming through since you’ve came through similar situation yourself
that’s what neurodivergent people do to show sympathy - very often unknowingly. folks sometimes think we do that to get the attention for ourselves, but it’s just a long winded way of saying “i understand what you feel, you’re not alone in your pain”
I learned this a few years ago and my mind was blown because I’m autistic and this is indeed my instinct. I have also found that neurodivergent people are more likely to respond positively to an anecdote.
Neurotypical people tend to react better to “reflective listening” — basically the “it sucks” button, but more expanded. Like if someone is venting about something, I might say “That sounds really frustrating”, or similar. It feels like playing conversational ping pong where I’m not an active participant in the rally, but just reacting to my conversation partner’s shots.
I don’t tend to find reflective listening especially helpful if I’m the recipient of it (I cope with problems differently), so it blew my mind when I was trying to support a friend with these techniques and they ended the conversation by thanking me for the support, and they really needed that. It baffled me because I hadn’t felt like I’d said anything really at all, besides just reflecting stuff back at them, which felt sort of like small talk but even more superficial. But nah, turns out that different people find different kinds of support helpful. The_More_You_Know.jpg
But then you are making this about yourself. Stealing the show. Reaping all the sympathy.
So you say the initial cry’s a show?
When is only you and your friend in evening near the grill, then i don’t know which sympathy i stole, i mean men truly open up very rarely and often in very small circle or even only to one person, so you have to show some compassion in these moments