My friend doesn’t talk to me as much and I really don’t get why because even when I’m “aggressive”, it’s tough love and I’m trying to help them. If I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t be like that.

Gonna be real here this is straight up abuser language.

The anger I could work around, but saying “I can’t control it” shows a lack of introspection that would be an instant giant red flag to run away, fast and far. Good luck, friend. We all deserve love.

Anger is absolutely a huge turn-off for me. As is all that ‘tough-love’ talk. If it’s not very explicitly explained to me, it comes across as just being an asshole. Even if it is explained, there’s a good chance I’ll be annoyed someone else decides they can 'teach me a lesson’if I’m not already intimately familisr with them. People assuming they know you well enough to redefine you is… Pretty rude, generally.

Yes. If you can’t control it then you need to work on the first before hurting others.

Yes. Especially if you are not even working on it and just say “that’s how I am”, because it implies a complete disregard for how your actions (actions, not feelings) affect other people.

It’s exhausting to be around someone who is always angry. That doesn’t mean there is nobody who would “like you for you” but it will limit your potential pool of friends a lot, yes.

Nobody’s going to want to be around you if you’re volatile and hurtful. And “I can’t help it” is a thin excuse. These are things you absolutely could control, you just have to try.

You sound young. Get control of yourself and develop some empathy. And while you’re at it, do something about your internalized misogyny. These two passages ought to create some cognitive dissonance for you:

Women also piss me off more than men do, so I hang out more with them because I feel like they get me and aren’t as bitchy.

I think women should be the best versions of themselves :) [I believe this is why society is so hard on women as a whole]

Yeah, it’s a turn off. Doesn’t matter if it’s friends, partners, work, whatever, if you’re unstable, you aren’t going to be welcome company.

It doesn’t matter why, it doesn’t even matter if you’re justified. Nobody likes am asshole for long.

See, love is not magic. It isn’t something that gives a person blanket immunity to assholery. To the contrary, if someone loves you, and you claim to love them, you should be giving them your best self, not relying on their love to just gloss over you being an asshole

It’s like the whole concept of family being where you can just be yourself. Yeah, you can. Family is going to forgive a lot because you’re family. But that doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole and they’re obligated to forgive you. It means that you give them the best of yourself, and they forgive your and love you when you fall.

If you’re working on your anger issues, that’s great. Good friends will stick by you. But that doesn’t mean they have to put up with your shit. A good friend won’t put up with your shit, they’ll tell you you’re being an asshole, to stop it, refuse to let you continue, and offer you help to get better. That’s love, not pretending there isn’t a problem.

You absolutely can gain some degree of control over your anger. Even obstacles like severe neurological issues don’t prevent some control being gained.

But nobody, and I mean nobody, not your parents or anyone is obligated to put up with your shit and let you stay in their lives when you won’t put in the minimum effort into improving.

Seeking help is definitely the way to go as others have pointed out.

If you don’t care about others feeling hurt, well then just think about it rationally: you probably don’t like getting hurt, so you can understand that they don’t either and trying not to hurt others generally makes the world easier for everyone.

Now I would also say that aside of that, you should apologize to people you hurt. Not specifically expecting them to forgive you, but because it also logically makes more sense as it might make them feel less bad about your behaviour.

I would overall try to think about things more rationally than emotionally because it does look like your emotions are your main source of problem right now, and for example thinking that hurting people is going to make them improve is absurd.

And thinking rationally would let you realize what behaviors are not okay, and let you apologize/warn people about it even if you fail to control yourself. While people would still completely be entitled to distancing themselves from you if your behaviour hurts them, it might at least give them some insight that allows them to get less hurt. And once again, less hurt is generally positive.

Uh, are you trolling? Anger is a form of aggression, and, no, people don’t like being around people who are aggressive to them. I mean, it might be okay if the two of you were MMA fighters and the aggression only took place in the ring - but people want to be about to relax with their friends. Being around someone who is repeatedly aggressive toward them is not relaxing, so people will leave you.

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Yes, inability to control your mood, constantly screaming at people, being pissed off and aggressive basically all the time, and being a rude asshole all the time is a major turn off.

I grew up in a family like this, dated a good number of people like this, then eventually figured out: Oh, I have CPTSD and low self esteem from being chronically abused by most of the people in my life, for most of my life, I don’t actually have to put up with their bullshit.

You sound extremely reminiscent of my abusive female ex-partners, full of rage, suspicious of and less friendly toward women (likely because you view them all as competition and/or incompetent), and most importantly, you’re a completely unnacountable and irresponsible narcissist hypocrite.

You do understand why people don’t react well to you being aggressive and pissy all the time.

My friend doesn’t talk to me as much and I really don’t get why because even when I’m “aggressive”, it’s tough love and I’m trying to help them.

This reveals that you do understand that your friend doesn’t like it when you are aggressive.

But you rationalize away your aggressiveness as the cause of your friend avoiding you with the intention underlying your action.

Your intention doesn’t matter.

What you actually do, how you actually do it is what matters.

If I perform a surgery with the intention of saving someone’s life, but I fuck up when I use a chainsaw instead of a scalpel to make the initial incision, my patient is now dead, and I am responsible, regardless of my intention.

…

No one has any obligation to deal with your anger issues other than you.

No one owes you their friendship or affection, de facto, just because you believe they do.

You should seek intensive therapy, probably look for a CBT specialist, at the very least, learn how to self reflect and apologize for doing things that make others flee from you…

…otherwise you’ll soon find that your anger issues do indeed affect you, by making you unable to have any healthy relationships with anyone, leaving all the people you care about no longer caring about you.

EDIT:

I have a reason for my actions, people just choose to ignore those reasons and misinterpret me.

People are not misintrepeting you, and you know it.

I also tend to type very dryly and with periods when I’m upset (which is admittedly ~90% of the time but I can’t control that).

You state that you are upset, ie, prone to a rude or aggressive interaction 90% of the time.

People are not misinterpreting your behavior.

Your behavior is abusive 90% of the time, and you just think that’s everyone else’s problem, not yours.

… Would you want to be friends with someone who is pissed off and abusive 90% of the time?

Honest, serious question:

Are you capable of actually imagining interactions with yourself from the other person’s point of view?

Can you do that, mentally transport yourself into someone else’s shoes, without immediately adding in all the rationalizations that you didn’t actually communicate, that only exist in your head?

as someone who’s not psychotic but experienced symptoms similar to a psychotic break from ages 16-17 (idk what it was but it involved around 2-week severe periods of mood swings [mainly anxiety, anger, or euphoria] and depression, people suspected bpd or bipolar but neither was confirmed), i can say that i would also constantly post stuff repeatedly, look for advice, and also felt unfixable (“this is the way i am”).

i have no clue if you’re experiencing what i did or anything similar to psychosis, i’m just sharing that i’m quite concerned for you.

(i also must note that I didn’t find other people useless during this period)

Absolutely. After living 10 years with a person like you, leaving her was the best of my life and I should have done that sooner.

I have to add more, to be honest with you.

The reasons why she was bad for me where deeper than just the rage issue alone. That was probably the lesser issue, so don’t be afraid.

But I strongly suggest that you start a serious and sincere path with a good phycologist as that has the potential to help you control and understand the issue.

Yourself, and the people who care about you, will thank you for that.

Don’t over think and go for it.

Yes, if you are unkind to people many will not wish to be around you regardless of your reasons for it.

You’ll need to work to change your behavior if you want to avoid this. Many people have anger issues. It’s hard to control how you feel but you may have success in changing how you act when you feel this way.

Yes, anger problems are a turnoff for pretty much everyone but a handful of people with psychological problems.

You need to address your anger issues, because no one should be asked to ignore being abused regardless of your reasons for it. Until you fix you, it’s unfair to expect others to deal with it.

Get therapy, because most of what you said in your post is very troubling and shows that you have a disconnect from reality