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󠁀@󠁀FUCKER@lemmy.world to internet funeral@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago

defamity

lemmy.world

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defamity

lemmy.world

󠁀@󠁀FUCKER@lemmy.world to internet funeral@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 years ago
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  • MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    This reminds me of that old story. One, I have tried to live by.

    There was an old man with a huge watermelon patch. Every day a group of kids would come over and steal a single watermelon. The old man was furious about the kids stealing his watermelons and devised a plan. He went out and posted a sign in his patch that said “One of these watermelons is poison. KEEP OUT!”

    So, a day goes by, and no stolen watermelon. A week goes by no missing watermelons. The old man is just so pleased with himself and his success. But, then he wakes up after about a week and a half and goes to pick some watermelons, and notices that someone has put a smaller sign next to his. He walks over and the smaller sign simply says “Now there’s two”.

    • BobGnarley@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Great joke and great username

    • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      I remember my freshman year of summer marching band practice, we were rained out and so we all gathered in the band room to practice music, and for some reason the band director decided to tell this joke, but the rain kept getting louder and louder.

      • thedaylights@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        That’s a powerful image. As though it had been a dream.

  • subignition@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    Deformity

    • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Mmmm, keming

      • get_the_reference_@midwest.social
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        2 years ago

        And the worse my eyes get, the more fun reading becomes!

    • someguy3@lemmy.ca
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      2 years ago

      Just gonna squeeze that r in.

    • Guntrigger@feddit.ch
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      2 years ago

      Yeah, even with the pixellation I can see there’s an or.

    • where_am_i@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      oh that’s what they meant!

  • saltnotsugar@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    Rat Piss Man - Origins, coming this summer.

    • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      But we already know Fred Trump was a shitty father that left Donald a pile of money and a desperate need for validation…

      • kamenLady.@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        What we don’t know, is the involvement of Erol Musk, a much more shitty father, in this and how it led to Donald being named Donald in the first place…

        • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          I suppose with Trump’s that natural, effortless shitbaggery that just seems like breathing for him, I shouldn’t be at all surprised he comes from a long line of shitbags.

    • ThatOneKirbyMain2568@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      Can’t believe they’re making an Elon Muskrat movie

  • Peetabix@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Watch yo defamity.

  • Aielman15@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    So, what biology project was it? What were they trying to prove?

    • Karlos_Cantana@kbin.social
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      2 years ago

      They were trying to prove that injecting rat urine into a watermelon will prevent it from being stolen. They probably need to rework their hypothesis.

      • gibmiser@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        No that’s the perfect null hypothesis. They knew it would still be stolen, and this experiment proves it.

      • Nightwatch Admin@feddit.nl
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        2 years ago

        This comment is a golden shower of joy

    • themeatbridge@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      How much rat urine you can inject into a watermelon before people notice.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I’m sorry, is that supposed to convince me not to eat the watermelon?

    • get_the_reference_@midwest.social
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      2 years ago

      I’m convinced that this is the Shredder origin story.

  • southernbrewer@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I read this in Cave Johnson’s voice.

  • finkrat@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Probably facilities cleaning up the food lol, bet it’s in the trash

  • Cosmicomical@kbin.social
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    2 years ago

    deleted by creator

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