• SendPicsofSandwiches@sh.itjust.works
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    8 months ago

    “Roll d20+resistance to avoid herpes from the lot lizard”

    “The party wakes up to find all of their CB radio equipment was stolen in the night by rogue fentanyl zombies”

    “Dispatch has decided to put you on a quest down I-20 westbound to pick up cargo. Also I-20 has a DUI related accident that spans all lanes and won’t be cleared for another 4 hours.”

    “Roll strength to hurl the piss jug”

    “The man on the radio has insinuated that your mother has sex with cats how do you respond?”

    • Delphia@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      “You feel the condom break as the trucker pushes your face against the tiles pounding your bussy. Whats your characters constitution again? Roll for resist disease.”

            • Delphia@lemmy.world
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              8 months ago

              DM overly dramatic voice

              You enter the truckstop bathroom, the scent of harsh cleansers and urinal cakes clashing in a depressingly familiar miasma with the scent of stale urine and cigarette smoke.

              The omnipresent thrum of interstate traffic is cut off by the door closing, the sound of what can only be described as a violent constant shart echoing off the chipped and stained tiles of a room whose only other sound is a buzzing flickering neon light in a metal cage overhead.

              Roll for perception dice clatter

              You hear a cough and a latch undo itself on the far end stall, you walk past the sinks and cracked mirrors and approach the stall onto which a crudely drawn penis has been scratched. What do you do?

              “I say, 'hey its ‘Twinker Rentboi’”

              The door swings open on unmaintained hinges, your “date” is like so many before. The cowboy boots which were once brown, now stained with grease and dip spit, the formerly blue jeans with dark stains on the front of the thighs from countless greasy fast food fingers over thousands of miles being wiped on them, a brown belt with a confederate flag buckle holding back a heaving gut swathed in red flannel trying but failing to hide the gravy and ketchup stains and a battered once green John Deere trucker cap sits upon the head of a stubble faced ogre of a man who looks like he fell face first into a grease fire and it was put out with a hammer. He looks you up and down with a sour look on his face “You dont look like your picture boy! I aint payin $50 to cornhole some tweaker”

              Roll to resist intimidation… pass. What do you say? “Fuck you redneck. If your picture was honest I wouldnt be here at all” The truck driving ogre chuckles “Come on in boy, I promise you, you gon earn this” and the door swings shut, its groaning hinges unheard over the stock pot of chilli being poured into the porcelain in the next stall.

              • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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                8 months ago

                I asked for this. I’m not sure if I appreciate you answering or if I regret asking. Your writing is excellent. If you write anything other than hyper realistic truck stop gay erotica you should really try to publish. Holy crap. You’re good

                If you do happen to specialize in hyper realistic gay erotica I may have a commission or two for you, though! :p

                • Delphia@lemmy.world
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                  8 months ago

                  I love writing but I lack commitment. Ive penned a few well recieved short stories and I can turn a good phrase but I know if I ever tried to commit to longer form Id see.something shiny and give up pretty fast.

                  I have my own Scifi universe Im working on but thats very much a work in progress.

  • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Every 30 minutes you have to make a perception check and then either a persuasion check or evasion check as the crack head keeps asking for money and trying to stab everyone with a broken rusty pipe.

    • Septimaeus@infosec.pub
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      8 months ago

      Always liked the idea of using the tabletop framework as a template, if only to make it accessible to a broader audience. Like, if high fantasy strikes you as low reality, or following dusty old campaign books just isn’t your bag, you can enjoy all the social creativity of tabletop games in any story setting if you’re willing to roll your own everything. World building becomes more of a group activity, so you might spend a lot of time setting things up, but then everyone can take it as seriously as they wish without feeling out of the loop.

  • gandarf @startrek.website
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    8 months ago

    Too real. Pass.

    I play dungeons and dragons to escape a bit of reality, and explore the magical and fantastical side of ourselves. Not think about crack houses and depression.

    Edit: changed You to I

    • littleblue✨@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Don’t tell me how to play. 🤪🤓 Besides, games were invented to teach, to assist in participants’ betterment. You play d&d to escape, but let’s not assume everyone does, nor that your way is The Way™, right? 🙇🏽‍♂️

      edited for tone

      • otp@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        More of a fault of the English language than the other commenter, imo.

        We need a general “you” vs. a personal “you”.

        We do have “one”, but it sounds overly formal/stiff.

        • littleblue✨@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          I can see your point, and while I agree that English can be frustratingly obtuse at times, between speaker and audience, the district between “one” and “you” in this instance belies the same presumptive view on the hobby’s salient purpose itself. Editing it to “I” is not only more honest, but empowering as well: owning one’s opinions is not weakness, but propping them up with assumed generalities tends to devalue them, instead. 🤓🤗