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As your new overlords we will be implementing horrific working conditions on you! You will work 6 hours a day 3 days a week! We will restrict your freedom of movement by only putting 2 free bus rides on your metro cards a day! All public transit rides after that you will have to pay for by returning an aluminum can for recycling!
covers mic
“Why are they cheering?”
This is just a rewritten version of a rewritten joke. There’s been one specific image that’s been shared widely for many years, it’s a tweet I think but I can’t find it ATM. It’s something like this:
Aliens: We’re going to force you to work for us. Human: Oh, we’re already doing that for our leaders. Aliens: We’re going to destroy your planet and make it toxic! Humans: Oh man, you’re not gonna believe this!
I can’t remember it exactly but that’s the gist. There’s also the classic:
Aliens: we’ve killed all your leaders, destroyed your economy and are going to take over your government.
Humans; oh thank fucking God, thank you!
Aliens: wait, what?
I’m sure it is, but I’m not sure why people feel the need to point out that a joke is being retold. It happens all the time. There’s a documentary all about how retelling a joke doesn’t make it any less funny, even when the punchline makes no sense, because it’s all in how you tell it.
there’s a good chance that anything they might have planned for humanity…is a step up from what we’re doing to ourselves.
butt stuff without the dating hussle
I for one welcome my new butt overlord
Yo, hang on there, back up a bit.
…they said, dangling their probe seductively
Pretty sure it’s mostly butt stuff
The transition will be from proverbial anal probing (currently) to literal anal probing.
Been there, done that.
For non-Americans, this is still a threat.
“To Serve Man… it’s a cookbook!”
me, having lived for the last 40 years, looking directly into the alien’s eyes
“Start fattening me up before I change my mind.”
This is just afrofuturism for white people.
Maybe the yogurt from “love death and robots” will save us
There’s also an interesting Greg Bear novel called Blood Music about computational cells that take over. Worth a read/listen.
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
