I have gas from eating lots of bread, which is not unusual, but for some reason today’s farts hurt my ass.
They’re not those super hot farts, they’re just really… pressurized? They come out loud and proud and it feels kinda violent. Any ideas?
This place is the wish.com /r/askreddit
Have you tried spreading cheek a bit, to see if you can whistle?
When i have too many tacos i can play the clarinet
but usually you just take it?
Thank you Doctor.
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Take a long hot shower and wash the area well
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Try to cut down on dairy for the near future
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Lie down in the sexy open-shirt Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park pose when a fart is approaching
Life… *brutal fart noises* …finds a way.
In my mind I inserted the Reverb Fart sound effect and it was hilarious.
Get that chest hair caressed by wind!
Your own wind even
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If you had a stomach ache and had a poo with stomach acid in it (eg diarrhea), the acid can irritate your ring and make farts hurt.
This sounds made up but I want to believe it and will do no further research into the matter. Mystery solved.
My asshole would to assure you it’s not made up and does in fact really hurt.
Your asshole is slamming shut like a screen door in a windstorm?
Being serious, I’m not sure how you eat enough bread to cause this unless you have some sort of stomach-related-issue or gluten intolerance or something. Unless you just eat way too much bread and then mix it with something that it reacts with?
Probably anal fission. When he splits his crack, a lot of energy is released.
No to be confused with anal fusion, which is when your ass cheeks clap together.
When that happens with me it usually is the first sign of a hemorrhoid flare-up.
have gas from eating lots of bread, which is not unusual,
Yeah it is. Unless you know you have a specific medical condition?
That’s hot
Happens to me when I eat nothing but beef jerky like I did yesterday. Just woke up like ten minutes ago with a fat man locked and loaded, had to lift my leg to make sure the ordnance cleared the fuselage.
Maybe it’s digested fat? Idk I’m no nutritionist
Removed by mod
My sympathies. Earlier this week I made dinner with an Impossible Meat brick that was a single day past the labelled expiration. I had some unexpected GI issues that I’ve attributed to that and I really felt terrible after, like I’d strained my pooper or something. Been farting like a cow ever since. I keep apologizing to my wife. Fuck knows why or how she puts up with me.
“best before date” or “expiry date”? Because if it was expiry date i think you need to look into food(& medicine) safety
Thank you, Doctor.
Chainsaw farts, great for itching your hole with a fart.
Start an only fans make money.
I do believe it’s a bread problem. Now you can either fix that, or you can start loosening your asshole.
Sounds like a joke, but I fart a lot and they’ve become way more quiet after I’ve started using dildos. I’m gay, but you don’t have to be to enjoy anal.
uhhhhh what
you heard me.
