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Meet woman, don’t be weird.
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Gradually build a loving, trusting relationship.
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She has to get surgery and she’ll be bed-bound while she recovers.
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“Will you take care of me, Anon?”
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Lord of the Rings marathon. The director’s cuts. She can’t run.
The long setup. “Babe, you agreed to stay in sickness and in health. This is my sickness.”
Narrator: But she didn’t stay.
She died during the Battle of Helm’s Deep
But inside she was already dead
Just do old school style and read her the Silmarillion.
Make sure to get the annotated version.
Return of the King was the first and only movie I’ve seen that had an intermission. Keep in mind this was only the theatrical version!
Then go see 2001 A Space Odyssey. Wait until the IMAX release comes around.
That movie is like taking 500 quaaluds
But what an intermission!
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Anon needs Jellyfin.
I prefer NGINX with autoindex. Lightweight, no JavaScript, looks like every Linux ISO mirror, filenames already have all the required info, can be quickly searched with CTRL+F, fits perfectly to my laziness.
If you want some improvement, you can use FancyIndex module.
But the files need to be in codecs supported by your browser(s). I prefer AV1+Opus in WebM container which have been supported by Firefox for a while. At this point it’s really only Safari not fully supporting AV1 because it relies on hardware decoding and Apple wants you to buy new hardware.
That’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m into it.
The biggest issue with that is it requires all of your media to be in a flat folder for search to work right.
Auto index has a mode to return results in json. With a touch of html and js you can make a page that will crawl the directory tree and build a simple searchable cache of name to path, and then you can play it from there. It ends up making a request per folder, but in realistic terms it’s not gonna be enough to actually be noticable.
You can then use something like this on a cron to convert anything your browser can’t play and you’re pretty close to a minimalist media server with only static files.
The one I used to use was just a bash script so I didn’t have to wrangle python modules, but I can’t seem to find it.I ended up dropping it when I bought a nas with all that stuff built in and it generally made my life easier. Worth the money if you can afford it.
Do you just remember where you are in every show (or movie that you only partway watched)? That’s the biggest appeal of jellyfin/plex to me, so I can go in and continue from where I left off without keeping track.
I always finish them.
You always finish an entire TV series?
Not a series, but then yes, I remember where I ended. Or I can just write it on a note if the series is still being made and it will take some time.
Amateur. You set this up ahead of time.
When you’re torrenting and you’re planning to watch with someone else, you decide what you’re watching at least eight hours in advance, preferably a day. Radarr can’t find stuff instantaneously, assuming the automated search finds it at all, and torrents can take hours to finish, plus leaving time to resolve technical mishaps with your *arr stack, like the VPN being dead. If you and the person you wanna watch with aren’t going to be in the same room, you’ll have to set aside even longer in order to transcode it into a format a browser can play at a bitrate that’s low enough to stream, and load it into your HTTP server so that Cytube can play it. Ideally you’d block out some time to test and troubleshoot Cytube too.
I have none of these issues, but I use Usenet soo…
Honestly though if push comes to shove Stremio and RealDebrid can work wonders provided your internet is actually fast enough.
Another vote for usenet. Somewhat less accessible than torrents but worth the effort and money.
Or just have a VPN on and go to fmovies or whatever to stream it for free since you’re already on a laptop with connection anyways.
Most popular movies have enough seeders to finish in 20 minutes where I live.
But if I were in OP’s shoes, I would just turn to streaming and forego the slightly better quality.
The movie isn’t the most important thing at that point.
OP doesn’t pay for streaming on the hypothetical (because we all know this isn’t a real story lol).
This is a great example of why Netflix is still so profitable.
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Yeah my ex wife initially made fun of my server with my Plex media on it…
Guess what she wanted after our divorce? That’s right Plex.
If she scoffs at your media setup she’s wrong for you.
My ex told me she never ever wanted to talk to me ever again, ever!
Next week she texted me asking access my plex server.
torrent ahead of time?
anon is a dumbfuck.
You can also press one button to configure a torrent to download first and last, allowing you to play a video while it streams in.
Anon can’t even torrent right, she just got scared that he’d be too stupid to put on the condom right.
Mate, don’t be weird. Torrent the movie you wanna watch before your girl gets there. Put it in your plex library and boot up Plex on your xbox. Easy peasy. You don’t have to be weird about it.
If she’s not excited to see the download bar move, she’s not getting invited back.
This is why you have a server running jellyfin qbittorent, Jackett, sonarr, radarr, all behind a good VPN.
Anon is obviously a noob and deserves the walkout.
do you know of any good guides that explain how to set up a full stack like this? I’ve been meaning to level up my movie watching game but don’t know how these services interact with each other
No sorry, I did it all manually with my own custom docker setup. I’m sure there are guides out there though.
The servarr wiki has guides for seeing up each of the services
Jellyfin > plex?
FOSS always > everything else.
The iPad with VLC works great for portability too.
But that means you use a Apple device so you are a noob and deserve the walkout.
Yeah I was SSHing the movies to it directly from my server but I doubt you know what that is.
Oh I guess I have to quit my job then :(
:(
I know this isn’t a shitpost, but this reads like fake hacker speech lol
I am an aspiring technical writer so I will take that as a compliment.
What fantasy world do you live in? Any man who can pull out a simple apple machine and make everything work must be a normie and will win the hearts of many
If she doesn’t like my slavish devotion to foss alongside my extensive collection of katanas then she’s simply not the one for me
But is the sword design open hardware?
Idk, i just run kodi and the crew. It has never failed me.
What’s with the “ooga booga woman scared by tech” meme? Like, people have been torrenting for ages, it’s not like it’s underground.
And just have it downloaded? “Hey, wanna come over and watch ____? Yes? Cool, see you then.” Then start the download. If it’s popular, you’ll have the file in, like, 10 minutes. And if she’s that “confused” by an hdmi cable (which is an extremely common cable these days, but whatever), put it on a flash drive and plug that in. And if someone is interested, I can’t imagine setting something up would make them leave? “Oh gosh, he had a laptop and a… A cable, you say? Well golly gee, I should run away from this fringe tech afficionado because who does that???”
I don’t know why some guys act like tech just washed over women. We were there sailing the same high seas as the rest of ya’ll.
“What do you mean the movie will come from the laptop?” Boy, bye
I like your comment because it tells me why I didn’t found this that much funny.
I thought it was supposed to be an old person confused
I like that. Anon just likes hanging with cougars, even if they’re not always tech savvy.
A person would have to be very old indeed to be out of range for knowing about HDMI cables.
I’m choosing to interpret it as her getting skeeved out over anon not having their shit together.
>not downloading the movie in advance
>not knowing about the “download in sequential order” option on the client that lets you start watching quicklyThat makes more sense 🤔 Guess jokes on me for assuming it was the other way lmao
no, that was the point of the original post. I just decided to imagine a better version in my head D:
Tech literacy has peaked hard with millenials.
Don’t think it is about women being scared by tech, but “normies” only really knowing how to use Netflix to watch a movie.
Although that may be true the ‘normies’ I’ve spoken with about this aren’t necessarily stupid. They may just not have it on the radar because it’s not their interest, some show interest in how it works and at worst I’ve found they say oh that’s interesting it’s pirating right? And that’s it.
My coworker is super non tech savvy and has no interest and even she just says ‘it flies over my head but I trust you to get it done’.
4channers now a days aren’t even good at making up lies/making shit posts. All they can do is low level rage bait. Pathetic.
In the post the woman is not the butt of the joke for being tech illiterate (and I’d argue they aren’t presented as that), the joke is on Anon for insisting on using free/techy stuff rather than costly but convenient things and ruining the vibe of the evening. This could just as easily say “Anon, why are you still fiddling with the picture settings? It looks fine. Motion blur? I don’t know what that is. It looks fine. Just watch the movie.”
It’s Usenet babe. Get this… it’s been around since 1980! Isn’t that wild, babe? It just goes to show, if a distribution system isn’t broke, don’t fix it.
Hahah I was gonna come mention Usenet but glad you already did.
A month ago I was frustrated waiting on some torrent and decided to finally give Usenet a try. All I gotta say is - why didn’t I do this switch years ago???
Because they usually cost money
Yearly rates for a provider and 2 indexers still doesn’t come close to the cost of all the streaming subscriptions you’d need to have the same library access. Coupled with the ability to use RSS feeds and other homelab services to essentially automate your collection, it’s just absolutely worth every penny.
But I wouldn’t know firsthand, because I’m a law abiding citizen, and this is all hypothetical. I just read about it on the internet somewhere.
Comparing to torrents
With usenet you’re not a distributor.
You say that as if it was a plus…
I mean you can be if you want
Usenet via SSL, with a provider that doesn’t log, over torrents any day. The anonymity level, speed, and retention is all worth it.
But they still are more expensive than torrents
So use torrents and get ridiculed by your date.
Oh yeah true, I kinda forgot about that since I’ve been so excited with the results :)
Shit goes missing after like a year
IIRC that might have been the reason I previously disregarded the idea of trying Usenet. However if it’s not on Usenet, one can always fall back to torrents :p Haven’t had to do that yet. *knocks on wood*
“Who is it?”
What goes missing?
YouI don’t know how Usenet works.Edit: edited to say I don’t know instead of you.
The files are not stored indefinitely, retention is based on the provider
Retention for 90%+ of providers is at least 4500 days for binary files and 110000 days for newsgroups. Have two providers, one monthly and one block, that run on different backbones with one that takes down for dmca and one that doesn’t and you’ll be fine. There are very very very few shows or movies that you can’t get. Don’t have to worry about VPN, ratios, trackers or any of that other crap.
That’s cool, retention a lot better now than like 10 or 20 years ago
So movies from 2011 and before can not be found?
Thanks! And sorry, I meant to say that I don’t know how Usenet works, not you.
Follow-up question. Why is retention so important? Wouldn’t they get reuploaded again? Or is it mainly a problem for more obscure content.
Torrents persist until all seeders disappear for good, which is rare on private trackers. On usenet generally content is uploaded ASAP upon release and then only lasts as long as rentention. Maybe you’ll get rereleases on usenet but it didn’t seem to be a common occurance
How do you get a provider though?
Yeah there was a lot of
googlingduckduckgoing at first. In my case I decided to start out with NewsHosting as provider and nzbgeek as indexer. So far so good
My family has learned not to ask questions, just tell me the name of the movie or TV show in signal, and Ill let you know when its on plex.
I know they dont understand. I see their glassy eyes staring past me if the compel me to explain. ‘But who puts it there, and what motivates them?’ they ask. They do not see the irrationally of their line of inquiry.
But they have learned now. No questions, no complaints, just leave me a muffin when I’ve done a good job.
Muffins for the showfinder!
I set up ombi for requests, linked it into all the *arr’s and automated it to hell.
I log in, click a button to approve it, let the system work for a bit and the system updates me by web hook to say it’s done, as it’s publishing the content on Plex.
It all sits behind a pfsense system running a VPN service. So everything is automatic.
It’s barely an inconvenience.
She just got filtered. Another successful test by anon.
This test is gonna filter out any girl who’s smart enough to use Plex with her xbox
Look, there are enough women in the world for you to stop thirsting after someone who’s just not right for you
If you’re geeky you need a girlfriend that at least vibes with that even if she’s not into it herself for fucks sake
Girl is super geeky, she’s just mad at him for running his laptop on the TV instead of using Plex to watch torrents from his xbox like a normal person.
A normal person would install the client on the TV, Xbox is not needed in this chain.
This requires having a smart TV.
Finding a dumb TV is challenging.
Just buy a smart one but leave the brain disconnected from the internet
I used to just glue a cheap android box on the back of my tv. Now i glued an expensive nvidia shield on the back of my tv
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Once I was with a girl and taking too long to get a torrent going so she whips out her phone and does it herself. Safe enough to say that we are together now.
Wow torrenting on a phone. I know it’s possible but I always thought it was slow or difficult.
It might have actually been a streaming site now remembering. She used a vpn to connect to Mainland China, typed some Chinese into a Chinese search engine and found it on a Chinese website.
What the actual fuck? Never thought of learning Chinese just to pirate something. Unless she already knew Chinese?
On Android, Flud has been good to me over the years even though the ads can get annoying at times. Hopefully it helps you get Linux ISOs on your phone with ease :)
Man, I used that app in 2014… Still remember torrenting music on my phone one the way to Melbourne for a concert 😅
I’d suggest alternatives from fdroid over the play store.
https://f-droid.org/packages/org.proninyaroslav.libretorrent/ https://apt.izzysoft.de/fdroid/index/apk/com.ap.transmission.btc
Hot
Mostly what i see is a lack of preparedness. If i had a date over the movie would be downloaded and the TV plugged in a week in advance.
Oh, I’m old and wasn’t sure why a person was in their house who wasn’t aware that they watched pirated stuff. Being annoyed that everything wasn’t set up ahead of time makes sense, but anyone who cares about things being pirated isn’t worth dating anyway.
